What's that smell?

That’s right the two of you who actually read this…After a short sabbatical in Europe I return triumphantly to the blogosphere….well not so much triumphantly….that makes it sound like I left to destroy some kind of monster or something…which I didn’t- but while we’re on the subject of destroying monsters- I always thought it would be sweet to own my own suit of armor…and have a sweet shield …just have it chillin in my house…yeah it may sound like a waste of money, but if that movie “Dragon Wars” ever happens I’m set bro. I’d also like to point out that blogosphere is a constricting word…I would submit in its place blogiverse…..you may ask yourself “how is blogiverse any better than blogosphere?” Like I said before blogosphere is constrictive…..let us break it down…according to several online dictionaries blogosphere is a word constructed from the words blog and stratosphere…now blog is easy enough to understand- a weblog journally thing…now stratosphere that’s where this “term” really runs into some problems. Stratosphere has two meanings really…one of them is the highest point on a grading scale…taking this into consideration blogosphere sounds a little elitist doesn’t it…I thought blogs were for everyone……the second definition of stratosphere is the level of the earths atmosphere between the mesosphere and the troposphere…at first glance the use of this definition to describe blog-realm seems adequate: this blogosphere is a certain domain in which blogs operate that sit between other domain where other forms of communication operate….however with a little critical thinking this idea is easily fallible...saying that blogs operate in a certain realm is restrictive…this “term” is limiting the potential of all e-musers…in this blogosphere the blog is trapped…to innovate the idea of the blog one must, and this might sound a little cliché, think outside the sphere. Thus I submit the term blogiverse…a combination of blog and universe…a limitless space where anything is possible… of course I could be totally off base with this… I’m often wrong.
Anyways I’ve been thinking lately, and I have a feeling the ideas I’ve compiled are in some ways due to an increased presence of members of the female gender in my life, a lot about fragrances…yeah I know it’s a little kerrrky kerrky (sound of gate swinging)…but despite that I’ve been trying to find a way to make female scents more satisfying…more delicious if you will…and when I thought of satisfying and delicious I automatically connected them with food….and you might say I think I might know where you’re going here BS…they already have perfumes and things that smell like fruit and honey and things….I already took that into consideration and what I’m proposing here are scents for women that smells like real foods….they say the way to a man’s heart is though his stomach (I don’t know who “they” are but it seems like they say a lot of things and people accept it….but I digress) and for those ladies that can’t cook well…well its bad news bears…but what if they just happen to smell like food….eating incorporates all the senses…not just taste..and since looking and feeling like food seem a little too unrealistic smelling like food seems to be a pretty good option here….but what kind of foods are we talking here BS? Well since you’re asking…now you have to realize these fragrances would be very discreet, not overpowering, but I asked myself the question what smells good and this is what I came up with: baked goods- like cookies(I think they might already have that, but there are a lot of cookies out there) other baked goods like doughnuts, various kinds of breads…like cinnamon sugar toast, macaroni and cheese, sour cream and onion chips, Chinese food, spaghetti, as far as holidays- gingerbread, pumpkin spice, turduckin (have you ever had that its delicious)…and I have other ideas….barbecue….but I mean serious, guys especially, if you walked up to a girl and she’s rockin the sour cream and onion…not to mention the cinnamon sugar….mmmmmm am I right?….that’s like a million dollar idea….maybe two million- that could be pushing it
As always catch you on the flip
The BS

PS we would totally avoid any fish fragrance….maybe clam chowder but only for New Englanders

Interview

Two days ago maybe three...i think it was saturday...it was, but that's not really important to my story. Well anyway i was leaving to go get some diner and just as i was leaving my place of residence on campus i was approached by a small group of what some might call emo kids....not the hardcore emo kid, but the ones who only are half committed to the emo ideal and just kinda dress that style because they think it's cool...what ever floats your boat you know...i'm just telling you this so that you can construct a more vivid image of these individuals in your head as you imagine this scene. So i walk out into the night and this group approaches me and a young lady possibly a year or two younger than myself, after some awkwardness (you know that thing people do when there is a group and there really isn't an assigned leader who is supposed to ask someone something and the group just kinda stands around and stares at one another and then you, and finally one of them gives in and asks you a question? well that s what happened), she asked me if i would be willing to answer a couple of questions that would be filmed and i said "you want to interview me" and she said "exactly" well actually she just nodded but i think this story needs a little more dialogue so i added it i hope she doesn't mind. They set up the camera which took fiveminutes or so which was slightly aggrevating because i was really hungry an it had been a really long day and then they positioned me in front of the camera an then had to test the sound and the lighting (i thought i might be on some kind of crappy housing association version of candid camera which it wasn't). They finally got everything squared away and i stood there and she asked me " What affects, if any, do you think explicit lyrics have on you" and immediatly i thought -typical emo kids trying to qualify explicit lyrics to some authority figure come on try to be a little less predictable. i know i stereotype, people always say stereotyping is bad, but just because you're predictable doesn't mean you're a bad person....some very good people are completely predictable...it just happens. So i thought about it for a minute, i mean they can't expect me to answer such a loaded question without thinking about it for a minute.....this had to look awkward on film because its just me kinda staring with a blank face at the camera and then i said this (as a side note when you are imagining this in your head the me in your head has to say this as non-ghetto as possible....if you have trouble with this...everyword or phrase that comes directly from a rap or hip hop song or whatever they call it now i say very slowly and with extreme annunciation) "well you know when i'm up in dat club i always hit up bitches and usually pop caps in pigs and other animals aight you know what i'm sayin and you'se know i have been riding dirty for a year or two know so if that in any way would count as an affect of explicit lyrics, then yes" they all just kinda looked at me and i looked around like "well is it over", the group stood there like they weren't sure if they were supposed to laugh or if i was serious and apparently that was the only question they had for me because the girl (the same one who asked me to begin with) said thanks and then i left.....which was good for me because i was starving (well not really) and i wanted a burrito really bad. I really hope they kept my interview...maybe they could put it in with the credits at the end or something. Anyway i just thought the two of you who actually read this e-muse would enjoy it and i challenge you to do something unexpected in the future....defy stereotypes...it makes life so much more exciting well maybe not exciting but it creates a moment where the people around aren't able to respond to you because they cannot create a response to your action or statement without connecting you to the idea they have of you in there mind....over time this obvioulsy changes but initially it really catches people off guard and boy is it fulfilling.

Peace homies, one love and catch you on the flip,
The BS out

Sitting on a Brick Wall

I wrote this last week

Let me set my scene. Afternoon. It’s a beautiful day. It doesn’t matter what day it is. This is mostly because I can’t remember what day it was. Its one of those days that isn’t too hot and isn’t too cold. It’s not really cloudy but cloudy enough to keep you from complaining about how bright the sun is. It’s fall. It’s one of those fall days that you will remember in the future as a distinctly fall day. There is a brick wall. Its not a very big brick wall. Its small enough that when I sit on it my knees come up awkwardly too close to my chest.... so I stretch them out . I really wish I had a bench to sit on, but I guess this brick wall will do. My shoe is untied. Crap I wore two different colored socks....oh well who looks at socks anyways.
A landscaper makes his way along the walkway in front of me. He’s carrying a leaf blower. Oh did I forget to mention it is fall and there are leaves everywhere. These little yellow crunchy leaves. He looks like he should get out more often. Hey buddy you just passed a bunch of leaves aren’t you carrying that blower for a reason...oh there he goes. And then off again. Oh I see...too nice of a day to do any actual work...lazy. Well I guess I’d do the same thing if I were you. And I’d probably lose some weight too. That was mean. Those are goofy boots. Where do you even get boots like that? Stop it right now. He’s probably a very nice man. Look at you. You can’t even match your socks..yeah but that’s different nobody can see my socks. I wonder what his name is. I know its not really very important that I know his name. What if it was Dr. Rick Forrester. What would a doctor be doing blowing leaves. Why do doctors even get to be formally called doctor? Or Private Investigators get the distinction of being Rick Forrester P.I. Why can’t people all be recognized by what they do in their names? Like Leaf Blower Rick Forrester or how about Rick Forrester LB? I like that. What would my abbreviation be WS wall sitter? What time is it. I don’t have a watch. I’ve never had a watch. I don’t know why I do that. Well this is nice. I think I know that girl. Maybe not...I wish I did. Alright look around like you didn’t see her. Okay waiting, waiting, waiting.....I wonder where she is going. That’s not cliche. People always say things like that when they are alone...wonder where people are going and what they’re doing in life..they feel like they need to assign some meaning to everyone. What if she’s not going anywhere. What if she’s just walking for the sake of walking. She only going nowhere because she doesn’t have somewhere else to go. She picks up her cell phone out of her purse. Is she actually talking to anyone. If she’s going nowhere isn’t it reasonable to assume she’s talking to no one? I hope for her sake someone actually is talking to her or at least she thinks she’s talking to someone.
I feel lonely, but not that kind of sad depressed lonely, its just I feel very alone. I guess it would be kinda awkward if someone were to join me and just sit here...well not if it were that girl. Who am I kidding I have nothing to say to her. Hey I’m so and so and you are? Oh so and so, well nice to meet you so and so. Come here often? Yeah I like to waste my life sitting on small brick walls in the middle of the afternoon too. I guess we have something in common.....do you happen to, by chance, have two different colored socks on. Wow I think we were made to be together............... You’re ridiculous. And stretch...mmm that felt good. I really need to find something to do. Just relax sit back and take a minute to collect yourself. You know you’re not going to go do anything else. If you have to take a whole hour or maybe two.....well maybe not that long your butts bound to fall asleep at some point. I wish I had an Ipod. Well maybe not. It seems like those things just make people so impersonal and cell phones too. People just walk around talking into them or with their heads down listening to music. It totally cuts them off from the rest of the world. From other people. Its sad when people are better acquainted with their ipod then they are with their own friends. And texting. Could it be any more impersonal. Its annoying people try to talk to you and text someone at the same time. Its rude really. If what I’m saying isn’t important enough to you then maybe we should just try this again some other time Yeah it is convenient but pretty soon actually talking person to person will be completely cut out.. We’ll communicate through brain waves and people won’t ever have to make a sound again.....what will happen to emotion. Will people cry in their minds......Maybe I’m just jealous. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I take it out and look at it. Screw you, you’re probably talking to someone right now aren’t you and you aren’t interested enough in what they’re saying...why am I any better than they are. All you have to ask is "What’s going on" would you believe me if I told you I was sitting on a brick wall thinking about how rude you are...I put the phone back in my pocket and sit squinting slightly for a few moments....well there’s no sense in just leaving them hanging, now what’s something witty I can say back...for me there is always pressure to say something witty..its like I say one witty thing and if everything I say after that doesn’t exhibit some kind of wit people think I’m depressed or mad or something well did you ever think that maybe I’m just not in the mood to be witty...you’re probably just asking me what’s going on so that I respond with something witty that makes you laugh...you’re taking advantage of me. Not Cool man. I put my phone away again.
There’s that girl again. She walks past we share one of those "we caught each other looking at one another so we smile so its not so awkward" moments. She really is kinda cute. Maybe if she comes by again I could ask her name and maybe out on a date. Yeah I think I could do that. Would she think that would be weird though? She probably already thinks you’re strange...you’re sitting on a wall by yourself in the middle of the afternoon. But she’s weird too. She’s walking around going nowhere and talking to no one. That’d be a good couple. The wall sitter and the aimless walker. I wish I could have seen her eyes better. I love eyes. Well I mean when they are properly set in a woman’s face. That part in temple of doom where they have eye ball soup- that creeps me out. What kind of eyes were those? You’re getting off topic here. I bet that girl has great eyes. Those kind of eyes that sparkle in the sunlight and seem to make her smile just that much more beautiful and even when you’re angry she can just stare you in the eyes and the soft hazel glow dotted with small yellow and red specks just calms you. "and all that’s best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes" thats from a poem I think.....She walks in Beauty maybe.....well whatever it is its true. I wish she’d come back.. Well I think I’ve wasted enough time for today.

A Poem for the Aged

A Poem for the Aged

Theres a point in life
Where you feel less strife
And a time when you start giving advice
But lack a little of your personnal spice
Your pants creep up on your waist
You start losing your sense of taste
Let's face it you're getting older
But that doesn't mean you give life the cold shoulder
There are for sure some definitive pluses
Like no one cares when one of you cusses
It doesn't matter that when its 94 outside you're still a little cold
You get to blame everything on the fact that you're really old
I challenge you to hit someone in the face with an egg
Or only where your pants pulled up on one leg
Watch and you'll see
Just how happy you can be
For example, don't take wearing a diaper as something to rue
Instead, see using the bathroom as one less thing you have to do
Go out and have some fun with all your old friends
And travel the Earth from its beginnings to its ends
What if all of your pals have passed away?
Go out and find some now, today
Go down to the Senior center, there's no reason to be afraid
Even if you don't get along you still get to keep your medicade
I mean you're entering your twilight years
But that's no reason to shed a bunch of tears
You never know how much time you may have to go
It could be still be 20 years or so
I say act like you've been able to spend all your time being young
And really start LIVING with the people you live among


Catch you on the flip,
The BS

Poetry Slam

So last weekend I went to a poetry slam....it was my first time attending one and the whole experience was like putting a sock on a wet foot- erksome, frustrating and in the end just uncomfortable. It caused a reaction within in me so great that i felt i had to write an e-muse about it....for those who don't know a poetry slam is a contest between poets who recite their own personal poems and then are judged and a winner is determined....and by recite i mean they express their poems with their bodies as well as voice and really act as if the words in the poem are part of a conversation the poet is having with the audience...it can get pretty intense......aside from feeling a little out of place amongst the more artsy and all those people who only eat organic food (more power too them i couldn't handle life without taco bell- which is probably a bad thing but its my life leave me alone) anyways the poets were very passionate and everything but it seemed like every poem was sad, depressing, angry and/or enraged and it made me think about all the really sad, depressing, angry and/or enraged people there are in our country let alone the world....this poetry thing was just an example and maybe i'm just majoritizing (i don't think thats a word, but i like it so i'm keeping it) the angry people because they are so much easier to spot then the generally happy people which is decieving because some of the generally happy people only seem to be generally happy and are really very angry inside.....which is confusing...it seems like we even label people now by the level of angryness or depressedness or sadness or rage that they exhibit...like for example the emo kid (so sad angry and depressed they could sufficate puppies.....it makes me feel awful just thinking about it).... emo kid is probably the most prominent label...other than raging bitch and i don't think i have to explain that one.....what causes this unhappiness you say? there are too many factors that contribute to unhappiness that i don't want to explain them and if i did i would forget one or two or maybe three then someone would notice and remind me of it or them and that would make me feel unsubstantial thus lowering my self-esteem and turning me into an angry person....not to say theres anything wring with being angry sometimes....its just i really wanted to hear a poem about something more than just wanting to die or about how much america sucks or about how no one loves you or about how your life is tough because of your races' past (for the record slavery was not my idea.....please stop making me feel guilty about it.....what do you want me to do about it now?). In fact i will write a non-sad/angry/depressing/enraged poem to start all you angry poets on the right foot...at least try it out once just to see how it feels......please hold a couple days for the new poem and if you'd like to submit one of your own i would love to read it...
catch you on the flip
The BS

Keanu Says What?

I realize I Haven't posted an e-muse in almost two months and I think that's just to bad for all of you out there in the e-muse world. I wasn't really very inspired. Okay that's a lie. I just didn't want ot write about what inspired me. It's a whole laziness issue.
I am here today to talk just a bit about a movie I just saw called "Thumbsucker." It's not a blockbuster or anything like that, but it's about a boy who's about 17 and still sucks his thumb. Really my point is in the movie Keanu Reeves has a great line (I know I was incredibly shocked...I believe that his role as a clairvoyant dentist is absolutely perfect for him) Anyway he says "That's 'cause we all wanna be problemless. To fix ourselves. We look for some magic solution to make us all better, but none of us really know what we're doing. And why is that so bad? That's all we humans can do. Guess. Try. Hope. But, Justin, just pray you don't fool yourself into thinking you've got the answer. Because that's bullshit. The trick is living without an answer. I think." Now that's awesome. I mean its absolutely true and at first glance it seems like its saying "just be yourself" but i think its deeper than that. How can you truly find yourself when you don't combat those things when you try to change. Man the interstices of the human condition just astounds me. Its a great movie and a great line....Get the movie, watch it, lock it up in a safe, pull it out a year later, watch it again...it will change your life.....just some munchies for the mind and maybe a little essen for the eyes. Catch you on the flip.
~The BS

The Tortilla Curtain and other thoughts

Well my peeps and those of you who are only now just beginning to mold yourselves into my peripheral crew I have something to discuss that I’ve had simmering for four or five days now. Today I would like to explain my feelings on what is not commonly referred to as the Tortilla Curtain (borrowed from Prof. Marcus Embry)..yes that’s right the U.S./Mexico border. To me some kind of large tortilla like this would be marvelous because I happen to love tortillas, but in the context Embry used it I think its just kind of insane. That place is extremely crazy...nobody really know exactly what goes on down there....you’ve got hundreds of illegal immigrants crossing this imaginary line in the middle of the desert or across some river and there are these super high tech futuristic border patrol head hunters who traverse the desert looking for these ragged, starving, "undocumented" peoples. Its like a pack of robocops out to vaporize a bunch of little mice or something. At the same time I feel kinda bad for the robocop guys cuz they’ve got all this really sweet James Bond type, laser, night vision crap and they use it to find these mice peoples. Really, how anticlimactic is that? Personally I can’t really imagine what this whole scene looks like. And I know people have made the argument that terrorists could potentially cross into the U.S. through this border, but I mean really what are they gonna blow up down there anyways? Texas? Yeah I don’t think anyone would really miss that a whole lot. Well I wouldn’t. You’ve heard of the minute men haven’t you? (and I’m not referring to their sexual endurance...come on now this is a serious subject) If you haven’t, they are a group of old men who believe they’re protecting "us" from all the potential terrorists or whatever and whoever else might infiltrate the United States coming in from Mexico. When this group was described to me all I could see in my head was a bunch of crazy old men with their pants all pulled up really high carrying old timey muzzle loaders and wandering around the desert in their hover-round, old man scooters that they have taken the governors off of so they can get up to six....m.p.h. In their little baskets they’ve got a U.S. flag, ammunition and an oxygen tank, and they’re chasing a group of illegals across the desert while "la cucaracha" plays in the back round like some scene from a three stooges movie. It sounds completely ridiculous. There’s other weird stuff that goes on down there are well. You’ve got the crazy, inbred Texans who try to establish their own country on the sand bars in the middle of the Rio Grande. Bubba and Johnny "has got" their motor homes all decked out with enough beer and pork rinds to last them years and the police and border patrol are like you’re idiots. I’m having doubts about this Texas place why don’t we just turn it into a parking lot and make Canada a state. Now that’s really something. Are there illegal immigrants from Canada....that’s dangerous. They’re coming with their free healthcare, wide variety of prescription drugs, hockey sticks and weird french customs.....that’s what we should really be afraid of. Not to mention, of course, the immigrants that come from Cuba and other Caribbean Islands. These people float across hundreds of miles of sea in tire inter tubes and in crappy old boats and hope they don’t drift out into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Its horrible, these people have such awful lives that they decide the best course of action is to try to float across the sea. Its not like they have much of a choice regarding where they land either. I, personally would like to magically arrive in Iowa or Nebraska, something along those lines, its not very intimidating, there are just a bunch of farmers chewing on straw and whatever...but no they land in Florida with the gators, water moccasins, coast guard, Walt Disney and retirement communities. Talk about culture shock as well as possibly being eaten or poisoned to death.

Its all just an interesting situation I guess and I don’t think I’ve really made any conclusions. But whatever really I just hope we kind find a safe place for these people who immigrate to our country. A lot of politicians are really concerned about the political implications and all, but what I really think they should focus on is the ethical treatment of these individuals....that’s what our countries founded on and we can’t be blinded by bureaucratic political crap and we need to retain or focus on making sure these people can find a life and are treaty fairly in this land of the free (that was corny, but it’s the truth). A little fodder for the old noggin. Catch you on the flip.
~The BS